The 411

Okay so I am 24 years old and will be married 3 wonderful, stressful, and blessed years September 19 to this wonderful man God blessed me with that I am lucky to call my husband. After being married for about 3 months the husband and I decided we wanted a little one. SO the journey begins here. January 2010 we started trying for a little one with no success, we werent really trying HARD as far as the documenting and calender planning and all of the fun stuff goes, BUT needless to say we WERE trying with no success. So we had decided well in Gods timing it will happen and I still KNOW that's the case. But we had talked and keep trying and still with no success come the end of 2011we decided that come January 2012 that once we got insurance with my job  that we would go to the Dr and talk about what we needed to do to start REALLY trying ... other than the obvious. Brian was and has been working part time for the local community college here as their computer tech. and we kept thinking anytime he would be full time and then we thought well we cant stop out life because they wont hire him full time. Well September 13 rolls around and I end up waking up in the ER and looking at my husband and everyone around me wondering what in the world is going on and WHY in the world am I here. Turns out I had a grand-male seizure and Brian(my husband) had rushed me to the ER it happened about 530 in the morning and I didn't come to till around 8 that morning. I have had seizure before but NEVER that large and they were when I was younger and I have been off medicine for 6 years before that happened. Now I am back on my medicine and having to take it the same as I did when I was younger. And remember still no insurance so now we are thinking what in the world are we going to do now there is NO way we can afford a bill like this and our first aid station we have for a hospital here is sky high in ER visits so then we were stuck with this and it felt like it just kept piling up like oh my goodness while we ever see daylight. And THANK God my husband is SO absolutely wonderful I don't know where I would be now if it hadn't been for him. He has been such a blessing for the good lord through out this whole situation. But shortly after that Brian got on full time at the college and things were starting to look so great! Now the problem is the medicine I take can cause severe birth defects. And now I am stuck with the decision of do I still try to have a child or do I wait until I am off this medicine. So I talk to my neurologist and he informs me that he has had SEVERAL patients take it and they have NO problems but that I will just have to be monitored more but the thought of causing a child a birth defect that could have been prevented bothers me. Not that I wouldn't have the same love and care for a child of that nature but I would feel guilty for the rest of my life that, well this is my fault and it could have been prevented if mommy would have just been more patient. So this is where we are now I don't go back to my neurologist until Oct 2012 but I am sure he would see me if I had questions. Anyway if anyone reading this blog has any imput or advice please dont feel like you would offend me! Have a great night and God Bless! :)